Today, while wading through the mire that is Twitter, I noticed a tweet from @jessphillips where she had retweeted a man telling her that the abuse she is getting is her fault because she dared to be a woman in public (I paraphrase).

Basically, she’s asking for it.


Also on Twitter, a dear friend who has been stalked by the same man for over 2 years is told that, if she didn’t want to receive the death threats from him that she documents, she should shut up about rape culture and violence toward women and girls.

She’s asking for it.


A young woman goes to a party in a US college town, she gets so drunk she becomes unconscious and a man leads her behind a dumpster and proceeds to commit despicable sexual crimes against her until he is caught red handed. At his trial his backers and he blame “college drinking culture”. She was too drunk to voice her lack of consent.

She asked for it.


It seems that when women are perceived as ‘asking for’ abuse, torture, rape and harm, we invariably get what we ask for. And yet, when we ask for equal representation, equal pay, freedom from torture and abuse and for men to stop raping us, well, then it’s just too much to ask, isn’t it?